textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i think i just lost a toe
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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