You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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