I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
