We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
