It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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