You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
