Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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