i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
