I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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