You made me cry and you don't even care
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize