you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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