batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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