I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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