The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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