Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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