Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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