I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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