girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
