I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
