He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If that was your dad, he is hot
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
