If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
