why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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