I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
