Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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