I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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