he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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