I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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