Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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