no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
