I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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