i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
