yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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