It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
they're like a gay fantastic four
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
