I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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