Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
