That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
