I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
