Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
