So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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