i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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