i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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