when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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