Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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