Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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