He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
