bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
