D3 body, D1 cock
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
