Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
