I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
