i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
