I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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