did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
