great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
