Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
