I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
