why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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