walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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