absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
as a side note pls kill me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
