he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
